This is quite a big stepping stone for me in the world of blogosphere, I'm finally moving this blog to a new website (and I even bought a domain! Who would've guessed? For someone as stingy as myself?) so please check it out! :)

www.virenne.com

I've refurbished some concepts for the blog and also tried to make it more light-heartened to attract more viewers. Bear in mind, this shall be my last post in this blog, but I'm not going to close it down for the time being. I hope you'll like the changes I've made :)

Labels: announcement, moving, new blog

It's not language that helps you to understand...
it's understanding.
Understanding is a concept that goes beyond language.
You can converse in the same mother tongue, but you never understand each other.
You can both converse in a second language, yet you can understand each other perfectly.

Those sweet gazes and stares,
those shy smiles,
those frequent nods and giggles,
but I know in our minds, we understand each other.

With some people, even though you're using the same mother tongue, you just don't understand.
Because our minds are not the same.
It's not even about similarities.
Some people can be so similar, yet so distant.
Some people can be so different, yet so close.
Some people have the right amount of understanding, words aren't needed anymore.

Understanding is what bonds people together.
Because how can you bond with someone you can't understand?
It's not about merely accepting.
Understanding involves a lot of process beyond accepting.
And if you can't understand everyone, it's completely fine.
No one can understand everyone, and it's okay.

Some people are more understanding than most.
Most people pretend they understand when they're not.
You can tell who are the genuine ones, and be grateful for them.
Everyone can be understood by someone.
Including you!

No matter how weird or awkward you think you are.
No matter how you feel like an outsider.
Someone understands you. Someone who really does.
And the deal is, you don't even have to try to make everyone understand!
When they understand, they just do.
No matter how complicated you think you are.
No matter how you feel like the odd one out.

So, do you understand me? Because I understand you.

Labels: poem, poetry, understand, understanding, universal

Gentle, elegant, graceful.
Long, soft brown mane, fluttered by the breath of nature.
Milky skin brighter than pearls.
A white carnation peeking out on top of her left ear.

Long, ivory dress she wears.
Gliding lightly on a garden of flowers.
Soft, pink tints creep up her cheeks.
And an earnest smile escapes her lips.

She's a princess all princes want to make a queen of.
She's everyone's dreams come true.
She's a definition of beauty.

Everyone takes a pleasure from just a glimpse of her presence.
Everyone wants to be her, or to be hers.
Everyone starts to feel jealous.
Every time she walks past, every man drools.

She takes my hand,
People turn their heads towards me,
And they snicker.

I take a look at myself.
Short, messy red hair.
Tanned olive skin.
Even nature refuses to enhance my description.

Spectacles framing my face.
Boyish shirt and pants.
Honest, strong, reckless.
Even if we run on the same garden of flowers, we are not the same.

People look at me like I'm her handmaiden.
That elegant girl is my best friend.
My boyish self is her best friend.
But still, people look at me like I'm her handmaiden.

Even if we have the same abilities, we are not the same.

We are both grown women, but we are not the same.

Because she's the universal definition of beauty,
and I'm just me.

Labels: beautiful, beauty, feminism, friendship, people, poem, poetry, princess, sadness, womanhood

No dark clouds surrounding me,
just my red blanket enveloping my body.
The air feels clear and crisp,
but why am I suffocating?

The hammer plummeting inside my head reappears,
followed by the familiar little tingling steps of the spiders,
perhaps to me they're all just reminders,
of the one thing I've always wondered...

Am I sane or am I not?

The urges to scream,
yearning to feel the breaking bones in my hands,
the need to shout,
desperately wanting to create chaos...

Craving to feel alive again.

My thoughts are criminals.
They've been caged within the prison of morality.
Arsonists, rapists, murderers.
They are jailed in a prison deep in my mind.

They would stomp the ground,
dig with shovels,
destroy the cells,
to run away and be free.

The world is clear to my senses,
but not in my head.
My head is in a state of calamity.

Labels: anger, anxiety, depression, disturbed, emotion, ill, poem, poetry, psychology, sick

Those drips of burning alcohol,
I took it without hesitation.
Five, six, seven, then I lost count.
My system digests it too well.
I wanted to get drunk.
So it might just be easier for me to dream of you again.

I didn't.

I was vast asleep, only briefly.
No dreams.
No you.
I wanted to see you.
But I woke up in this ungodly hour,
As my playlist was finished.
No dreams.
No you.

I wanted to cry, but I couldn't.
But I can only hurt.
It's fucking 4:44 am.
No dreams.
No you.
Just the darkness enveloping myself.
No more alcohol to knock myself out again.
What am I supposed to do to see you again?

I changed positions hesitantly,
Counting endless numbers,
Listening to my lullaby, my ritual to fall asleep,
Yet, I could only see black.
No dreams.
No you.
I wanted to cry, but it wouldn't fall.
I felt like I would take the fall.
Just in case I could probably see you again.
Do I have to jump?
Do I have to hit the concrete pavement to feel your breath on my neck again?

Do you not want to see me again?
Because I'm drunk?
Because I took those shots of Smirnoff?
I did it for you.
I thought it might've been easier for me to fall into my dream.
Are you mad at me for doing so?
Do you not want to see me again?

I'm drunk.
But I couldn't see you, or any dreams at all.
I couldn't even fall back to sleep to save myself.
Why wouldn't you help me?
Do you not want to see me again?
Are you sick of me already?

In the darkness I lied still.
Listening to the lullaby all over again.
With a wish that maybe I could see you tonight.
Just maybe.
So that when I close my eyes, you would be there, reaching out for my hands and smile.
Like you always do.
And in that moment, we are invincible.

Labels: alcohol, broken, depression, dream, heartbreak, heartbroken, love, poem, poetry, sadness

Long hair, loves or has tattoos, and cooking ability.
I wanted a man like that, all my life.
I found him.
I didn't fall for him.

Everyone has their own preference.
I did.
I gave up on mine.
I didn't fall for him.

Now I can't imagine myself with anyone.
Any guy.
Any kind of person.
Who will I end up with?

Will I love him?
Will he love me back?
Will we spend the rest of our lives together?
Will I ever meet him?

In my dreams, I know who I want.
When I woke up, I don't want anyone.
I met someone in my dreams.
He was special.

Every minute of waking up felt like another world for me.
I spend my day wanting to go back to my dreams.
Because I know in my dreams, he's there.
Reaching out his hands for me.

I live my life in my dreams.
I dream more than I wake.
In the infinite world in my dreams, we're together.
We found each other.

I'm certain about my dreams.
Not so certain about my real world.
How long will I have to live this way?

Labels: broken, dream, dreams, heartbreak, heartbroken, him, love, poem, poetry, reality

My days are not gloomy,

Labels: happiness, lonely, love, poem, poetry, sadness