Posted Tuesday, 16 April 2013 // by Virenne
Gentle, elegant, graceful.Long, soft brown mane, fluttered by the breath of nature.
Milky skin brighter than pearls.
A white carnation peeking out on top of her left ear.
Long, ivory dress she wears.
Gliding lightly on a garden of flowers.
Soft, pink tints creep up her cheeks.
And an earnest smile escapes her lips.
She's a princess all princes want to make a queen of.
She's everyone's dreams come true.
She's a definition of beauty.
Everyone takes a pleasure from just a glimpse of her presence.
Everyone wants to be her, or to be hers.
Everyone starts to feel jealous.
Every time she walks past, every man drools.
She takes my hand,
People turn their heads towards me,
And they snicker.
I take a look at myself.
Short, messy red hair.
Tanned olive skin.
Even nature refuses to enhance my description.
Spectacles framing my face.
Boyish shirt and pants.
Honest, strong, reckless.
Even if we run on the same garden of flowers, we are not the same.
People look at me like I'm her handmaiden.
That elegant girl is my best friend.
My boyish self is her best friend.
But still, people look at me like I'm her handmaiden.
Even if we have the same abilities, we are not the same.
We are both grown women, but we are not the same.
Because she's the universal definition of beauty,
and I'm just me.
Labels: beautiful, beauty, feminism, friendship, people, poem, poetry, princess, sadness, womanhood
Posted Wednesday, 20 March 2013 // by Virenne
Love is unexplainable, yet everyone insists that it exists.Love is untouchable, yet people say it is real.
I'm not talking about a mother's eternal love for her child,
I'm talking about the bond between two human beings as partners.
I don't know how it feels, as simple as that.
I need someone to appear in my life to show me that it is real.
Love makes you all giggly and happy, yet it tears your heart and soul apart at the same time.
...or so they say.
Why would anyone sacrifice themselves for such complex feelings?
Love is different from friendship.
...why do they differ?
Friendship is something that lasts forever, it's something beautiful.
It makes you all giggly and happy, yet it does not tear your heart and soul apart at the same time.
Why would people choose love over friendship?
Why aren't people in love with their friends?
Love is foreign for my logic.
And until the day someone can prove me otherwise, I still can't accept this.
With my logic, I'm a fool who can't understand love.
I'm no better than those fools in love.
I'm no less than those who understand love.
I have a brain that I know how to use properly,
I have a heart, yet I don't know how to utilise it.
I've been looking for someone to help me understand love.
I found none.
If you would help me, that would be much appreciated, my friend.
I know that once I understand love,
I will never let it go.
So teach me how to love,
and I will forever be yours.
Labels: broken, friends, friendship, heartbreak, heartbroken, help, love, poem, poetry
Posted Tuesday, 6 March 2012 // by Virenne
Well well well, it's me again, in the middle of the night, suddenly had this urge to post something. I had a couple of things I want to talk about at the moment, the thing is that they're all unrelated to each other. Nonetheless, I still just want to spit it out (insert Slipknot reference here!). First of all I just want to share my dreams last night, which wasn't that epic or absurd. It was rather depressing, actually. The only things I could remember was that I wasn't in Brisbane anymore, it seemed like I was in Melbourne (not that I can remember how Melbourne was anyway) with Carol and tried to meet up with my high school friends. When I met them, of course I would scream in happiness and jumped to them all. They all just said "Hi" awkwardly and smiled even more awkwardly. This still breaks my heart when I remember it now. Thanks to that awkwardness, I didn't even bother talking and just left like that. All of a sudden, I met Marcel (who happens to be my tango instructor at UQ, and he's totally hot) who saw my depression and asked me to dance with him. When I woke up, I realised that maybe I should join tango again this semester. I was thinking about quitting because I joined the belly dancing class as well. We'll see.
On the other note, another random fact about me (yay for random facts!): I love gore and thriller movies, but I can't stand horror movies. I used to like them, but as I'm getting older I get more scared. Lame, I know. However, there's an exception to these very specific types of horror movies: exorcism movies. I have no idea why I love exorcism movies, it probably started when I watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose, which I think is still the best exorcism movie ever. So yesterday, I went to see The Devil Inside with Carol, Louie, and Inez. What I didn't know was that this movie was made to be like a documentary, which would only mean one thing: NAUSEA. Yes, Inez and I almost threw up in the middle of the movie because of the shakiness and the blurriness of the shots. God, it was awful, we both hate those kinds of movie. We LIKE stable cameras with proper settings. Anyways, besides the awful shots, the story was pretty good. Until the last scene. Then I realised I just spent $5.80 for nothing.
Moving on from the movie (I told you this post will be about 3 or 4 unrelated things), Louie and I were just starting to be crazy about SNSD / Girl's Generation. Yes, I love gothic rock, symphonic metal, heavy metal, but I just like these girls. I know, all those heavy metal people would be embarrassed. Even I was too embarrassed to admit it, but now I don't really give a crap anyway. Anyways, Inez has always been a Korean lover (she even speaks Korean...), but Carol is pretty new to this. So the history of how I got into SNSD was because karma hit me right in the face. Around 2 years ago, back in Jakarta, when Carol and I met each other on campus, she showed me one SNSD song. I've heard of them, I LOATHED THEM. The first song I heard from them was "Gee" and being a heavy metal like I were, I just shouted "WTF?!" and stopped the song halfway through. I kept thinking "no way I'll listen to this sh*t" and so when Carol showed me their song that she liked (titled "Genie"), I just ran away and told her to go away because I would never like them.
Guess the song that suddenly drove me crazy.
GENIE.
(Karma b*tch-slap level OVER 9K!!!!)
I spent my summer watching their talk shows and videos on YouTube, I was turning mad. I even learned their dance routines - and I'm actually really good at it now it became my daily exercise routine - which I will record soon and upload it to YouTube if I'm not too embarrassed. To make it worse, I even memorised their names and faces in less than 3 days, which I still think, was amazing. So my absolute favourite one is Choi Sooyoung.
She's the tallest in the group and she's also the funniest (to me) in talk shows, which is why I love her. One day, just a few weeks before Carol came back from Jakarta, I had a video chat with her and I made this confession about my new craze about SNSD and she laughed her ass off. When I asked her which one was her favourite of all of them - it was SOOYOUNG. (ANOTHER karma b*tch-slap level OVER 9K)
Then I figured, if karma slapped me that hard, I should fight it back. Which is why I bombarded Carol with SNSD talk shows and everything else since she got back here. Almost everyday I would show her various videos on YouTube and we would watch together and laugh together. Karma hits her back because now she could almost differentiate all the members' names and faces (except Seohyun, because she said her name was hard to pronounce).
So, mission success!!! We're now officially SONEs (SNSD's fan group), and even though Carol's a bit embarrassed to admit it (like I used to), I have to admit I'm a part of SONE now. Oh well. The moral of the story: do not laugh when you see a friend of yours is in love with SNSD. Karma is no joke and I'm a living proof of it. Heck, it took me around 3 years to actually like them. You might not like them now...we shall see in a few years and hundreds of replays.
Anyways, I should go off now, I have to watch this one episode of SNSD and then I'll be off to sleep! Ciao!
Labels: brisbane, dance, dream, friendship, girl's generation, hyoyeon, jessica, karma, korea, korean, music, seohyun, SNSD, sooyoung, sunny, taeyeon, tango, tiffany, yoona, yuri
Posted Saturday, 3 March 2012 // by Virenne
Well guys, I just realised how I tend to write a blogpost at midnight. Even I don't understand why. I have a lot going on in my head and I just need a place to let it out. I probably should begin this post by saying that BRISBANE IS SO HOT FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS. Again, if you personally know me, you'll know that I'm a polar bear. I'd die in heat. "But you've spent your life in Jakarta, which is one of the hottest city in the world?" some people may ask. No no no, in Jakarta, we travel by cars to indoor, air-conditioned places. We don't experience the heat. This is Brisbane, where I walk anywhere - even if I commute by bus, I still have to face the heat on my way to the bus stop - and not all places are air-conditioned. Brisbane's summer also has this dry feeling, which sometimes makes me suffocated. No, I'm not exaggerating. One random fact: I always have nosebleeds if the weather gets too hot.
Since university terms just started, I have to walk under the Brisbane sun almost everyday, during the peak when the sun is at its hottest. Everyday I would go home and just blast on the air-condition, which was a bad idea. Now I'm very sick, even lifting my head feels like lifting a sumo wrestler. I've had a couple of different medicines, it should work tomorrow. Anyways, I just completed my first week in uni. I was pretty pleased with my awesome schedule, but I was pretty worried about the courses this semester. You see, I'm in the Bachelor of Arts program, and just recently, the school of psychology has this tendency to switch the courses' offerings. There are some courses (mostly advanced courses) that are only offered in one semester, either the 1st or 2nd semester, and they sometimes switch it without any announcement. For local students, that may not be that big of a deal, but to us international students, YES, it is a HUGE thing. I still have another 3 semesters here, however, I really need to be careful in taking the classes, or else I'll have to stay here for another 6 months just to get that particular course, which would be annoying because I could've graduate and find a job or continue getting my Master's degree.
To discuss about this issue, our student advisor asked us to meet her today, but as I was very sick, I couldn't leave the house and just asked my housemates afterwards. From our discussion, I decided to drop one course (PSYC2050 aka Learning and Cognition) and take it next semester, and add another course that probably would not be offered next year in semester 1 - which would hopefully be my last semester here - which is PSYC3202 aka Industrial Organisational Psychology. I didn't attend the first lecture of PSYC3202 this week so I'll need to catch up soon. As you can probably see now, I'm very serious about my future career (can you see it? Really? Probably not. Oh well...) and I'm also scared of marriage. It's not that I'm scared of commitment, I just fear the thought of getting married. Especially when it comes to the thought of having kids. I've never liked kids in particular, how could I ever have one??
Could someone please tell me, is it wrong to choose myself and my career over the one I love? I really don't want to waste my dad's money just to get a degree here and work in Indonesia. I like it overseas. I love living with people from different cultures from around the world. If I have to choose love, this option might be obsolete. Anyways, I've been in a long-distance, long-term relationship, which I just ended today because for days I've been thinking about my career and how this relationship affects my choice in deciding my education and career path. The thing is, this relationship doesn't affect my choice in a good way. To be truthful, I felt really burdened. I felt that every time I decide to do something with my education, I have to think of this relationship and what it will be. So finally I decided to choose my education over my love. It was hard, and I still couldn't stop crying, but I thought it would be best.
I just want to say to you - yes, I know you'll still read my blog posts - that I might've just made the worst mistake in my life, but even if I did, I just want you to prove me wrong and I wish us all the best. Sorry for the depressing post, I really just had to get this out of my chest.
Labels: break up, college, couple, distance, friendship, love, personal, psychology, relationship, romance, university